Thursday, October 24, 2002

I've been feeling disconnected lately. Since I don't have to preach this week, I saw it as a refreshing week, but it hasn't been. It has been busy and laborious and tiring. So I went to the .: labyrinth :.. It was refreshing.

We need an experience of God. I shut out the light and lit a candle. It felt weird at first. Still a bit weird, which is one of my chief fears, to be seen as weird.

We want to be less sinful, but what I've been trained to do is read His Word and do what He says and that will change me. When I read His Words, they ring very true. I know that is the way, but my body feels heavy and doesn't cooperate. It fights me. Then I think the key is my personal willpower to make my body submit. And we must do that, but we must also know that won't be our final cure.

That is why we also need an experience of God. All I'm looking for is a feeling of presence... a realness... just to know that He really is there. I felt a glimpse this morning, as I have at other times when I quiet myself enough. It felt good. It was enough, but not fully satisfying. It was healing. Thanks Lord.

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