Wednesday, August 07, 2002

What Anti-Gravity Will Mean For The Church

Since my title is "What It's All About" (I recently added the appropriate apostrophe) and since I try to think about the future of the church, I have to consider the implications of Anti-Gravity for the church. If anyone would like to help, I think I could use it.

1. No more ushers. Offering plates and Communion trays will be self-propelled.
2. The pastor won't need a pulpit since his Bible will float.
3. Much less expense for passion plays to show Jesus rising from the grave.
4. Baptism safety. Anti-Gravity devices could be attached to people being baptized and programmed to lift if the person doesn't come out of the water in 10 seconds.
5. Charismatics won't just be able to roll on the floor, but also on the ceiling. Pew jumpers will have an easier time.

No comments: