Marriage one key to Healing
Lately, I think I've been a little too negative on marriage. My marriage is pretty good right now, but we had some hard times and struggled through. Thinking back about the hard times, I realize I have few, if any, suggestions. Hang in. Be sensitive. Don't shrink from the truth. Don't let fear keep you from dealing with the issues.
I was reading through a Bill Hybels interview, which mostly left me thinking I wouldn't look to him for leadership, but he finished with a cool quote from CS Lewis -- "If you love deeply, you're going to get hurt badly. But it's still worth it."
Perhaps marriage should be looked at as an extreme honor (not the right word). It is going to be hard. It is going to expose some areas of your life that you didn't realize were so poor and so painful. The very fact that you are married will make them stand out and you will probably blame your partner for the pain, though honestly it is all yours and was probably there before your spouse arrived.
But it is also likely that your spouse may have the key to your healing. It may be less of a key and just a healing salve that if applied long enough and with enough faith and hope, that healing occurs over time. I remember thinking, "Just the fact that Danelle loves me unconditionally, just as Christ does, blows me away." She didn't always like me, and I didn't always like her, but love... that's different.