Small Groups

From Search To Belong:

1. Community is not experienced mostly through intentionality. Community spontaneously emerges from environmental influences

2. Small groups are not the way a majority of belonging and community is experienced in a person’s life. Most of these experiences are in public and social environments.

3. It is unrealistic and unhealthy to expect 60-80% involvement in your congregation’s small group program. This usually results in a dependant-codependent relationship with your congregation. Anything over 30-35% is a little suspect.

4. Who are we to assume we need this much “intentional” control over someone’s life? Most do well to find significant community and belonging in their life outside of your congregation. Why invite them into an incestuous relationship where they are not in contact with others on a journey to find God?

People are desperately longing to belong. However, they want to belong to a healthy community in a healthy way. People are looking for real friends and family not the romanticized version of what those family and friends look like and act like. They are looking for a real home not a congregations 1950’s view of what this means.

It is time we put away our narrow definitions of belonging and community and seek to see how people want to connect and find ways to help them there.

Interesting Blog

JoshSargent.com

Color Schemer

I do not have an eye for color, though when I see it, I often know whether it works or not. So I've been looking for a program that will give me a color scheme working with my choice of one color. This Color Schemer - Online Color Scheme Generator seems to do it.

Men Not In Church

My neighbor strikes me as a typical man from our local culture. He worked around 30-40 years for the state, working on road repair. He's divorced. Macho. Rides a Harley. Drinks, sometimes to extreme on purpose. Hot tempered. Generous. Has attended church in the past, though not recently. Speaks of church as a good place to go. "I always felt better when I went."

He mentioned he was traveling to Mississippi. I said while you're down there, go over and protest in Alabama. I was referring to the 10 Commandments deal at their supreme court, and I wasn't serious. My mouth just seemed motivated to be moving.

He said, "I would! That's ridiculous. Oh, I wouldn't protest, but I'd vote for it."

I was kinda struck.

Then he said, "You know what they call the crookedest lawyer in the county?" What? "Your Honor!" Big grin.

It struck me, while he believes in an almighty God, he is extremely skeptical of people in authority.

Toy Placement

My one year old boy (two in October) likes to get out toys. And we have too many (curse McDonalds). But here's the deal. He seems to take his biggest toys, tub of legos, truck he can ride, dragon he can ride, and he parks them right in the doorways. Man that is irritating. This morning, I came home from a meeting, and he had all the doors blocked and then lined up the rest of his toys right at the foot of the couch, so you couldn't easily sit anywhere! The government needs to fund a study...

Telling the Story II

"You've got comments!" What a great sound!

Jon Reid comments

"For years my wife & I have said that in any gathering -- whether it is a home group meeting, worship team practice, or a worship service -- the one element that must be present in the gathering is 'sharing the vision.' The vision must be cast again and again, in different ways and highlighting different facets."

It's the journey stupid! (Talking to myself, not Jon)

And Tom Toner comments

I have seen this in just about every Church I've been in. The women outnumber the men. I have wondered why. Do men feel threatned to admit they need something besides themselves? Do they see chuch as a place for "little old ladies"? Or do they feel that there are just better things to do.

What if it is a cultural phenomena? I had a call tonight asking me about 1 Timothy 2 (you know, women shouldn't braid their hair). "What does that mean pastor?" Funny you should ask. Read the whole chapter.

First section -- God doesn't want anyone to perish. He wants everybody to get saved.

Second section -- Paul says, "That's why I'm here... to see people get saved."

Third section -- Let men be unified not divisive. Why? My opinion: because people won't get saved when they see churches acting like jerks.

Fourth section -- Women shouldn't let their beauty come from a bottle; it should come from being a beautiful person (paraphrase for sure, but not too bad really). Why? Because people will get saved when they see something real.

Fifth section -- Eve sinned and then deceived Adam. Whoa!! Stop this train Paul, I want to get off. I have no idea what he's talking about cause it seems to me Adam was right there.

So what is church culturally? And also remember our culture (at least for me and Tom).

1. You have to get dressed up. In our area, men don't dress up for work typically. Lately at funerals you see a lot of blue jeans. A lot of men only have one good set of clothes. (Not true at The Crossover)

2. We sing music that isn't on the radio and never was because they didn't have radios when this music was written. (Not true at The Crossover)

3. We sing and cry and "go forward" and then we claim we are different. (Not true at The Crossover -- we don't see much in the way of response except for communion.)

I'm sure there are more, but I'm getting tired, and yet the (Not true at The Crossover) hasn't really helped us attract men. We did at first, but they have fallen off.

Here is a statement that may not fly: "Women do better at pretense than men." Women can look at an ugly dress and smile and say, "Wow, I love that!" Men can't. Women can shake hands with the saddest preacher and say, "That was lovely!" Men can't.

So you have two problems with men. Your church has to be absolutely real. You can't pretend at all. I don't think that will run the women away. And second men aren't good at accepting part of it and hiding the rest of their baggage. So if you are totally real, the men will have to jump in fully or jump out. Many men are too afraid to jump in so that only gives them one option.

I don't know, this is all off the top of my head. Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

Maybe this will at least jump start this conversation.

Another thought

We may be getting heavily involved with Habitat for Humanity soon. I wonder if men want to see their faith lived out in action not just in a tearful response. We'll see.

Leadership

Another Fast Company interview

Robert L. Joss
Stanford Graduate School of Business
Stanford, California
Q: What matters most to you, and why?

A: I have one word for you: leadership. By leadership, I mean taking complete responsibility for an organization's well-being and growth and changing it for the better. Real leadership is not about prestige, power, or status. It's about responsibility.

Over my lifetime and in my four years as dean, I've become more aware of and impressed by how much of leadership is about emotional intelligence. The more you lead, the more you understand just how much of it is about motivation -- and motivation is about emotions. Most universities operate in the world of the intellect: The person with the best idea is the brightest. But to lead, being smart isn't sufficient. You have to connect with people, so that they want to help you move the organization forward.

I learned that lesson when I took over a division at Wells Fargo and tried to turn it around. I had the passion to make it better, but the old management balked and quit en masse. I hadn't realized that they were afraid of change and that it was my role to help them understand my reasons for it.

Traditionally, we didn't do enough to help prepare our students to take on leadership roles. We helped them confront problems of analysis, finance, strategy, and so forth. But the way you learn leadership is by leading. So today, part of our role is to help make students more aware of what leadership means, to get them excited about it, to inspire them to try leadership jobs, and to really understand themselves. Leadership is a performing art. Intellectually, it's simple. But behaviorally, it's complex and difficult work.

At first, I thought it was a little pompous. The previous interview was with Dipak Jain, who said "I have no power. So I try to give everybody a chance to have a say." I thought that sounded weak. So in response, I thought Joss sounded pompous. But as I read on, he nailed Leadership on the head -- "emotional intelligence" and "Leadership is a performing art. Intellectually, it's simple. But behaviorally, it's complex and difficult work."

So many think that leadership is being in charge or getting to make the decisions. Those are the easy parts. Motivating, building consensus, being trusted, communicating value to the idea and to the followers -- that is leadership.

Telling the Story

In the latest issues of Fast Company, they asked Business school Deans to answer one of the questions on the Student Application. Here was the answer of Paul Danos
Tuck School of Business
Hanover, New Hampshire

Q: What is the most important thing you have recently learned?
A: Progress cannot happen without a good narrative. When I became dean, I learned how powerful the well-communicated idea can be as a tool to inform new directions and inspire new energy.

Eight years ago, we faced an organizational growth imperative. On the basis of bringing in world-class scholars who were also good teachers, we grew the faculty by more than one-third over a five-year period. We also grew the student body by one-third, from 180 students to 240.

Of course, people were afraid of such changes. Tuck is a place steeped in history, spirit, and small-scale community; naturally, they didn't want to lose those things. They needed convincing.

And at first, I didn't realize that it was my job to be the articulator. But I quickly learned. My strategy statement has been at the heart of all of those changes, and I rewrite it every year. The basic notion stays the same: Tuck can be both highly competitive and highly distinctive. But I articulate that message in different ways.

Leadership is an unbelievably hard communications job. You must have a firm grasp of your competitive environment, encapsulate the spirit of an organization, package it in strategic statements, and then emphasize those statements repeatedly, so that the message becomes part of the conversation.

I can't stress enough how important this is. A story will develop. If you aren't careful (and even if you are sometimes), the story will become, "This is no place to be. The congregation (employees) is bitter. The leadership is controlling." Ychh.

But if the story starts from the beginning -- This is a place where you will feel at home. This is a place you will enjoy. This is a place where you can make a difference. And this is a place where a difference will be made in you.

Then the story needs a narrative that moves the people you want to move. Our church is having trouble getting men to come. They just don't see Sunday morning as worth their while. Though the music is contemporary, fast moving, and moving (in my opinion), it doesn't move them. My belief is that what would move men is again, stories, stories of changed lives.

Our multimedia team needs to film several stories and put them into a form we can use on Sunday morning. So part of our "Story" is that we tell stories.

If that doesn't work, we'll try something else! (Note that Danos above says he rewrites his narrative every year.)

What Do Ministers Do?

It seems to me that most ministers don't work like most people do. I'm not saying they don't do enough work; I'm talking about their work environment. Most ministers I know work by themselves, or maybe with a secretary, a few on a staff.

I work out of my home which creates a whole different environment. Many of the guys (and a few women) work in country churches so their offices are in the middle of nowhere. Even the staff guys seem to get A LOT of alone time. Is this good? We might say it gives us more time and quiet to pray and study, but I suspect a lot of that goes out the door to human nature and nobody watching.

Most offices are open and many of the people who frequent them are "needy" people and aren't always the best use of the pastor's time. Leaders need much more time than I suspect they get from their pastors. "Visit the sick, counsel the troubled, ..." Accomplish little.

Most people work with at least someone in sight. At IBM, I shared an office. At Solomon Software, we all had cubes. There wasn't any privacy except by arrangement. At Findlay Computer, we all just worked together. For a while, I had a space upstairs. It made some sense since I started programming up there, but I wouldn't say I was more productive.

I've started sharing this home office with Gil Rowe a couple days a week. That has been good. Being that I've worked alone for 7+ years, it is definitely an adjustment. But someone to joke with, pray with, share life with is healthy. I would say more pastors would be better off with this kind of environment and less "privacy."

Privacy can also get you into a load of trouble, especially with the internet. That is a whole other subject, but we need to start treating our pastors as human beings and monitor their internet interactions just as we would in any other business environment. They would welcome that as it would eliminate much temptation. "But surely a pastor can be trusted..."

Pastors need to get out more.

More Search Engines

This from Fast Company Now.

Vivisimo
Kartoo
Teoma

I didn't get to test them well, but Vivisimo creates a pretty cool looking visual presentation of your search results. Not sure if it is of any real help to the searcher, but if I were filming a sci-fi movie that is how I would want my results to return. COOL!

New Day

I wanted to blog this yesterday.

Monday was a totally different day. Danelle went to work full-time yesterday. So I had the boys. Oh course, I have the boys every Monday, because for years Danelle has worked for her dad on Mondays. But even so... it felt different. It actually felt good. Not sure why.

With reduced pay from The Crossover, I plan on reducing my hours by about a day. I really want to spend that extra day around the house and with the boys. My mom asked me, "Are you going to be able to get all your work done?" Good question. I don't know. We don't have a lot of choices. But to be honest, I'm not worried about it.

Danelle is working at Windsor High School as a Special Education Aide.

Virus

I haven't had the SoBig virus (as far as I can tell), but it seems to be slowing down the whole internet, or at least my neighborhood. This is the first I've been able to blog lately.

My Father-in-Law's Website

I may get to redesign this site. Hopefully, for much cheaper than he is paying for this one.

Blog of All Blogs

This could be the blog of all blogs. TheOoze - . : Blog : .

It is a "team" blog and features people like Cooper, Sjogren, Jim Henderson, Creech, and Burke.

Anything

Another Third Day chord chart I want Guitar-Dude.com : phpMyTablature v0.14 : Song No. 98

Sing a Song

Good chord chart for Third Day Song I want to do. Guitar-Dude.com : phpMyTablature v0.14 : Song No. 92

Blogging Problem

I submitted this text:

It describes the purpose of life as having a relationship with God, not trying to have a comfortable life. It is honest about the fact that God doesn't always act in the relationship like we want Him to act. But it is full of hope that He is going out of His way to be sure we end up (after death) with an unimaginable relationship.

to The Gender Genie.

The results: I write like a girl. Any comments?

Technorati

John Porcaro told me that I could see who had read my blog and linked to be by using Technorati. It works pretty slick. Just type in your URL (website address) and up pops a list. John's link to me ended up at Rebecca's Blog. Not sure who she is. I didn't any info. But it did look like an interesting blog.

Shattered Dreams

I just finished Larry Crabb's Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Path to Joy. It was just what I needed.

Many times Crabb's books -- Connecting and Inside Out -- started out strong, really describing my itch, but they failed to scratch it. This book scratched and scratched. I don't want to be too strong, but this book really describes the foundation of my Christianity.

It describes the purpose of life as having a relationship with God, not trying to have a comfortable life. It is honest about the fact that God doesn't always act in the relationship like we want Him to act. But it is full of hope that He is going out of His way to be sure we end up (after death) with an unimaginable relationship.

Probably the biggest "aha!" I had today was why I feel so tense when I release everything to God. The reason is because I know where He is going to take me. He is going to take me straight into the midst of turmoil and chaos. Why? Because that is where the Son is working, and that is where He wants me to work. And that is where we will find unimaginable joy even here on earth and that is where we will see miracles and that is where we will be able to "Ask whatever you want in His name, and it will be done."

Internet Conversation

Jordon Cooper wrote an excellent post on internet conversations. I wrote a rant about how no one comments.

Cooper was left an energetic and dynamic comment. I was left "I comment once a month. Leave me alone." and "You're such a whiner."

Here is an important clip from Cooper's thorough post:

I remember how cool everyone thought it was when Leonard Sweet installed message boards on his site. The sites took off with a burst of posts by a lot of people until we all realized that despite being on Len's site, he wasn't around. It was kind of like playing in someone's backyard when they aren't at home. It is still the same yard but it feels like you are doing something wrong. You can build it and they may come but without a host, they won't stay.

Lance Comments

Any comments on Lance's comment?

Okay, so I'll make a comment. I'm making this comment!

p.s. I have commented on your blog before, sure it's only once every month or so, but I have commented."

Very cool, thanks for getting the conversation going!

Friday Five

1. When was the last time you laughed? When Gil left the office. I've laughed a lot the last few days. I wish more people were laughing when I tell a joke instead of just me laughing really hard!

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with? Probably my wife. We tend to both be "argumentative."

3. Who was the last person you emailed? My whole Crossover mailing list with a prayer update on a young man from our town who was hit by a grenade in Kuwait. We are praying that his reattached arm and hand will not become infected and that he will regain use of the limb.

4. When was the last time you bathed? Not recently enough. But I shower every morning. Otherwise I would have to wear a hat besides smell.

5. What was the last thing you ate? Smorgasboard (leftovers) lunch. Pizza, chop suey, McRib looking things, corn chips. Mmmm! Healthy!

Being that no one comments on my blog except one guy from Australia (who I believe fell off the earth, though it could be that the water swirls the other way down there) and one guy from Washington, and Gil, if I say "This is for you Gil," and Shawna just because she pities me, but noooooooo comments from Tom, Lance, Dan, ... Look out I'm naming names!! My mom reads this. But any comments? Nope. "A blog only your mother could love." I guess not........

OK, I'm alright. I've been really goofy the last two days. Nobody knows how to react. Maybe you would like to comment on that?

Queer Eye for a Straight Guy

I accidentally caught the last half of BravoTV.com > Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on NBC last night. As I looked for their website on NBC, it was obviously missing. They don't even mention it.

A friend asked me this morning, "We're they pushing the limits?!" The answer is yes, but not like you think. They showed a guy's bare bottom, but it was the straight guy not a gay guy. And the straight guy's girlfriend had about as much cleavage that is physically possible.

Five gay men, out to make over the world — one straight guy at time.

They are the Fab Five: an elite team of gay men dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of style, taste and class. Each week their mission is to transform a style-deficient and culture-deprived straight man from drab to fab in each of their respective categories: fashion, food & wine, interior design, grooming and culture.

Gay is such a funny thing about how people react to it. Many people are so repulsed by it. I'm not repulsed. I'm also not saying it is fine and dandy. Sin is sin. I'm wired to be pretty sinful myself (I was born that way) and that doesn't make it ok for me either. Queer Eye for a Straight Guy isn't that much different from Trading Spaces except they are open about who is gay and who isn't. On Trading Spaces you have to guess (Doug? Vern? Frank? Frank, right?).

I wouldn't say I'm hooked, but it was a well produced show. What's up with NBC not linking to it?

Spiritual Six Sigma

Thanks to the power of the internet, I now have the best minds in the world (he works for Microsoft -- some nod, some snicker) working on the issue of connecting people with God. I love this job!!

Brian Miller wonders if Six Sigma can be used in a non-traditional setting, like a church. I'm not any kind of expert here, but it was a fun exercise to see how flexible the concepts could be. The reason I think they're so relevant to marketing is that the underlying concepts are pretty simple.

Now remember, I'm not a Six Sigma expert, but here's what I remember off the top of my head.

Using the DMAIC process, we can go through the basic steps:

DEFINE: Start with really defining a problem (attendance, spirituality, contributions, obedience, engagement with scriptures, etc.). Is it a real problem? What would success look like? What's critical to the customer about what you're trying to improve?

MEASURE: Could you put it into a goal that's attainable but challenging? Make it something that can be measured, very exactly. Number of members attending 3x a month, or donation per member, or number of pages of scripture read by member per month?

ANALYZE: Why is the problem occurring? Use "5 why's" to get to the real root of the problem. Again, what's critical to the customer? If it's attendance, why are people staying home? Because they have better things to do on a Sunday? Why? Because watching baseball is more exciting than sitting in a sermon? Why? Because baseball provides social stimulation? It's exciting? Folks don't have to dress up? Etc. Get to the root of the customer expectations.

IMPROVE: The easy part, once you've really found the problem. Map out the process to find out every relevant step taken in the existing process. What one thing could you do to solve the underlying problem?

CONTROL: Continue to measure, to see if the steps you've taken are working. Stay in tune with the customer to see if they percieve the problem improving. Control the improvements, and continue tweaking. Now, move on to the next problem.

Sounds pretty simple, and in some ways, it is. Biggest "aha!" for me was taking the time to really break apart the problem into bite-size chunks.

This is decent stuff. When it comes down to brass tacks (where on earth did that phrase come from), it all goes back to God and what He wants to do. But at the same time, I'm going to do everything I can possibly do to build bridges in that direction. Thanks John!

Luther

Faith Inkubators:

Luther is coming! Cancel all Sunday School and adult education classes this September and get ready to replace them with a world of wonderful resources built around a new major motion picture on the life of Martin Luther.

This has some major actors in it, and this website is calling it a "major motion picture." I'm curious, as long as they don't call "Left Behind" a major motion picture.

Faith Inkubators

This looks interesting, though I haven't got time to look it over. About FINK: "About Faith Inkubators "

As a pastor, Rich anguished over new parents showing up at church to get their babies “done” (i.e. baptized) – never to return. He had suffered through a decade plus of teaching confirmation to disinterested youth who turned up at thirteen to get “done” again and promptly disappeared. (A “charade followed by a parade” he called it.) ...

Faith couldn’t be taught in a lecture. Facts could, but facts were only a subset of faith development. Faith needed to be nurtured – incubated – in a complete system.

Busey-isms

John Porcaro recorded some Busey-isms.

Here is just the first one:

"Just pretend you're invisible. But play like you're not pretending, and then your invisibility will become a reality. and you cannot be seen by anything, any place, anyone."

Sacred Dreams

I had supper with Erin and Angel Raper last night and we talked about their dreams for about 3 hours. They are a great couple who love God and love people and want to put the two together!

Dreams are sacred. You can't share them with everybody. It is like showing someone your new baby and have people respond, "Ughh!" People are likely to say, "You're dreaming!" or "That will never work!" You have to be careful with dreams and even more careful with dreamers. They are too easy to crush.

But dreams are dreams because they are hard to realize into reality. And many times, it becomes obvious that there are some major obstacles to making the dream a reality. And so we begin to shove our round dream into a square hole. So we gently have to talk with the dreamers about where their dreams might fit. We need to join them in a conversation with God about where He is leading the dreamers.

This always makes dreamers nervous. They are afraid of losing their dreams, and probably rightly so. Dreams are fragile and easily broken.

But Erin and Angel are trying to find that round hole where their dream can slip right in and become a working, productive part of God's Kingdom. That is so cool. My heart always goes out to dreamers.

Slingshot 57

Slingshot 57 is a reborn indie Christian rock band that now includes our worship team's drummer, Jeremy McConnaha. They had their first big gig at the Illinois State Fair on Sunday night. They were awesome.

Now if you know me, praise doesn't just come easily from my lips. But they were really good. The music was tight. I was surprised that the teens there loved the music and so did most of the adults.

The lead singer made the band a great performance band. He brought you into the concert and freed you up to have a good time. That is a rare gift. At first, he seemed a bit self-important (primping, almost flirting with the crowd), but maybe that is a requirement to pull in a crowd.

At the end, after about an hour of high powered edgy rock songs, he spent about 3 minutes, quietly communicating to a listening crowd of kids, that God is the most important thing in his life - that there is truth, there is meaning, there is connection with God through Jesus Christ. He said that is why they do all they do, so that they can have 3 minutes to have them hear, really hear, about Jesus. And if they wanted to talk more about it, he and the band would be around to talk. He is probably right in that this is about as effective as you can be with teens, and maybe a lot of adults too.

He also made clear that he and the band were available to talk with anyone about anything after the show. Pretty cool. I'd like to see them again.

Busy Week

It seems like some weeks I wonder why I get paid to be full-time. The last two weeks, I wonder why I don't get paid twice as much!! We're planning for the fall, had a crisis crop up, had to travel to a meeting for church planting, got my daughter started back to school, my wife is looking for a full-time job, want to put out a church planting newsletter, want to put out a financial update of The Crossover, ...

I like being busy but I'm not able to do some of the regular disciplines as easy, like journaling every day, reading blogs, ...

I also redesigned The Crossover webpage. It was looking like a house that nobody had cleaned up for a while! But the house is now clean and ready for guests. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Looking for a puzzle maker from a photo. Takes about 5 days to ship, then shipping options for speed.

Photos2puzzles.com

I'm sure you won't want to read this one

Craig Berntson has a blog called FoxBlog. It looks interesting and he has only mentioned FoxPro once, but that is the programming language I did almost all of my programming in for the ten years.

John Porcaro

I'm interested in reading John's blog. It might not interest everyone. He is a Group Manager on Microsoft's Home and Entertainment Division's PR and Communications team.

He has talked about his Six Sigma training, which interest me because my friend Jim Eastin is taking Six Sigma training. It is "drinking from a firehose" according to John. Helps me understand what Jim is going through.

He talks about how to use technology and still maintain real community. I may add him to my blog role.

Something Personal

I know some of you watch and wonder when I'm not blogging much. I have some good friends who use this to keep up with what is going on with me. Been a couple of tough days. Sleep has been thin. Stress has been high. Once again, I'm reminded of how deep sin can run and how firm a grip it can place on a person's life and... how costly Jesus price was.

I have to say though, God has been good. I actually have a finished sermon on Friday (though I finished after midnight - does that count?). That hasn't happened in a couple of weeks. Danelle will be glad. We have a busy Saturday. My daughter goes back to school Tuesday!! We get to see the new school tomorrow.

If you think of praying for me, simply pray that I would let go and allow God to have control in all things.

Thanks for your friendship. :)

The Friday Five

the friday five:

1. How much time do you spend online each day? The question doesn't make sense to me. I'm not online, then offline. I'm online almost all the time. Only when I leave the house am I not online, and I doubt those days will last long. I'm not constantly surfing, but that is a different paradigm that just "online."

2. What is your browser homepage set to? My blog.

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)? No. Chatting makes depth of conversation difficult for me. It seems like it would be a decent tool for small interruptions that don't require a phone call. Like, someone else in your office needs to know where something is but it isn't absolutely urgent, so they send you an IM and you can respond at your leisure.

4. Where was your first webpage located? Tripod or Xoom. Maybe both.

5. How long have you had your current website? My blog has been up over a year. Our church website over 3 years.

Information Overload

This fact from a guy's notes on a speech by the CEO of Yahoo: : "In fact, at the time of the US colonies were first settled, our forefathers read as much in their lifetimes what we scan in a single day (about 500,000 words)!"

He went on to talk about depression:

Tim quoted several studies that showed that people who spend a lot of time online, especially those that substitute online contact with "human" contact, tend to be more depressed. He defines NEDS as a combination of three things:
1) Information Overload (overwhelmed); 2) Constant Interruption (helpless); 3) Reduced Relationship Quality (isolated).

...

He told of a report where 1/3 of all managers feel "overwhelmed," and nearly half of all "information workers" could be considered technically "depressed."

...

Studies show that 5 hours a day of "screen time" is the tipping point that leads to significant problems if not addressed.

How do you fight it? Resiliency comes from what Tim calls "warm living."

He points out that there are three kids of personalities:
1) Where people have a great personal life, and work is impersonal (50% warm, 50% cold). The problem there is that research shows the "effects" of a vacation wear off in 3 days, and a kiss from the wife and kids will last until about 10AM (if there's no traffic).
2) People who have a life where 90% is cold, 10% is warm (work hard all day, get an hour with the kids, some time on the weekend). He estimates there are 14 million like this in the US (hardest hit)
3) People who have a life that's 30% cold, 70% warm. This is the goal. You get there by making work "personal."

Tim has several suggestions for making work more personal. He suggests "refresh stations" along the way. Take a break every two hours (10AM, noon, 2PM) to recharge, and spend time with one nice, positive person. Make sure your teams take this seriously.

I feel sorry for that one nice, positive person. They are going to get the life sucked out of them!!

A new search engine

Welcome to NetNose. Create a better search engine!

I searched for: "the crossover" church mattoon

Netnose didn't list our church in the top 20. Google listed several links to our church in the top 20, including our website, my blog, midwest region, general conference, and a link from Cornerstone Community church. I guess Google won that contest!

20 questions

Fast Company now has a blog!! I'll probably add this to my daily list.

This was a simple thing, but pretty cool really: 20 Questions

Fun Facts

UUU - Fun Facts

Gil You Might To Check This One Out

blog one another: Cross-Training: "After our last home group meeting, Kay & I agreed that the group would soon become restless unless it had a clearer vision. I mean, it's one thing to put out a general call like, 'We want to be a micro-church,' but what is God's call on our specific micro-church for this specific time?"

Jon Reid Explains RSS in English!

blog one another: What's this XML thingy?:

How do you keep up with all the blogs you're interested in? Chances are you click on each link in your blogroll (or perhaps someone else's blogroll), and see if anything is new. But thanks to the wonders of RSS, I don't have to do that for my 'blogs with XML'. Instead, I fire up NetNewsWire Lite, a free RSS reader for Mac OS X. (You can find an RSS reader for any computer platform.) It goes out and checks all my favorite XML-equipped blogs, informing me when someone posts something that I haven't read. What's more, I have it set up to check for new posts every 30 minutes, so I know pretty quickly when something is new -- without going to each blog and checking it myself."

Now let's say you have a blog of your own. How do you go about syndicating it so that I can subscribe? Let's make it harder and say you're using Blogger. Well, one possibility is to upgrade to Blogger Pro, which I believe offers RSS support. But say you're a tightwad who doesn't like to pay when there are free alternatives. What you do then is add your blog to blogmatrix, which will scan your blog periodically and generate RSS for you. Don't forget to publicize what you've done -- otherwise I won't know that I can point my RSS reader at your blog. You will have to modifying your template to add a link to your RSS URL. It's not that hard; blogmatrix will show you what to copy and paste.

Jon Reid's Blog

I might want to start reading Jon

First school for gay students draws dollars and critics

Everyone was downright giddy at the Hetrick-Martin Institute when the New York Board of Education voted in June to approve a $3.2 million expansion of its Harvey Milk School, the first accredited public school in the world "devoted to educating lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and questioning youth."

The approval allows the school, which was founded in 1984, to increase enrollment from 50 to 170 students for the start of the 2003 school year.

While protest of the decision was expected from the Christian right, few expected such a severe backlash from within the gay community. The announcement came, after all, on the heels of one pleasant brush with the press after another.

In February, Hillary Clinton (D) of New York became the first senator to visit. In April, actress Susan Sarandon became a "principal for a day." Even New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg added to the chorus, telling a throng of reporters that the vote was "a good idea" because some gay and lesbian students are "constantly harassed and beaten in other schools."

But after the New York Post covered the expansion last week, the floodgates opened.

"For those of us who have supported gay rights, the announcement of the new high school is baffling," wrote Jonathan Turley, a George Washington University Law School professor, in a Newsday commentary. "The city's ... solution is not to correct those failings but to remove the students, as if they are the source of the problem. The establishment of a gay high school rings of a civil rights breakthrough when it is the scourge of equal rights."

As I think about how to bridge the gap into the culture which surrounds me, to open a path for the Light of Christ to enter in and transform the hearts that don't hurry back into the darkness, I find myself often feeling so inept at the task.

Jesus did it by healing people, partying with people, talking with people, standing up for people, and raising people from the dead. The only culture that he approached with negativity was the religious culture, and yet he knew that his clash with them would be required as he would become the sacrifice.

So here I am, trying to follow NASCAR, given up on hunting, thinking about camping, and even enjoying 70's Southern Rock music, but... in New York? I'm not homophobic. I can love a homosexual and yet not agree with their lifestyle as I would consider it sinful, and yet at the same time realize many have not dealt with their sinfulness, and certainly I can not deal with it fully as the sin runs so deep. It isn't so much obvious sin in my life (though there is some of that), it is attitudes and pride and impatience. It is lack of discipline and judgment and arrogance. It is lack of faith, not fully trusting God in all things.

But this is talking about homosexual high school students, transgender high school students, bisexual high school students. I assume they start as freshmen or transfer in later. That they can even fill a school makes me wonder if I have any idea of the nature of this world.

I don't think it is a good idea for any number of reasons, but the question I would have to ask is "How do we bridge the gap into that culture so that the love of Christ can be made evident?" That certainly is not done by hateful comments. It isn't done by making label references of homosexuals -- queers, fags, etc.

What would Jesus do?

the friday five

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country? Cincinatti, OH/Newport, KY on vacation to see the aquarium and the zoo.

2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling? When I was a kid, my family went to cincinatti to a reds game and King's Island. But they didn't get hotel reservations. All the hotels were full, so we slept on the cars in the King's Island parking lot. My mom woke up when she heard them feeding the lions in the Safari area.

3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go? Probably Smokey Mountains.

4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car? Plane -- fastest.

5. What's the next place on your list to visit? St Louis zoo, etc.

Prayers are answered with Mel Gibson's soul-stirring 'Passion'

Cal Thomas writes the most specific article concerning this movie I have read. This makes me want to see it all the more.

Satan is cleverly played as an asexual being who at first seems to be an observer in the Garden of Gethsemane (and in other scenes), but the appearance of a snake slithering between the character's feet and attempting to wrap itself around the arm of the prostrate and praying Jesus identifies him and his evil intent. The film is an intense two hours. It uses unknown actors, which helps focus attention on the message. By the end of the film (a unique portrayal of the resurrection), the viewer is exhausted.

Anglicans Confirm Openly Homosexual Bishop

The Anglicans' spiritual leader, Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, appealed for opponents not to act rashly in response to the Rev. Canon V. Gene Robinson's approval on Tuesday as bishop of New Hampshire.

After decades of debate among the denominations' branches around the world over homosexuality, Robinson's confirmation threatened to open a painful rift, particularly between doctrinally conservative Anglican leaders in Asia and Africa and more liberal clergy in wealthy, Western countries.

The Episcopal Church, with 2.3 million members, is the US branch of the 77-million-member Communion. Church leaders in Asia and Africa condemned the Americans' decision and threatened to leave the communion, saying homosexuality was against Scripture and unacceptable.

The Episcopal Church ''is alienating itself from the Anglican Communion,'' said the Very Rev. Peter Karanja, provost of the All Saints Cathedral, in Nairobi.

''We cannot be in fellowship with them when they violate the explicit Scripture that the Anglican Church subscribes to,'' he said. ''We'd counsel they reconsider the decision. It's outrageous and uncalled for.''

Bishop Lim Cheng Ean, leader of the Anglican Church of West Malaysia, said bishops from the communion's nine-nation Southeast Asian province may discuss cutting ties with the US church at a meeting next week.

''Practicing homosexuality is culturally and legally not acceptable here,'' he said.

The Church of Nigeria issued a statement saying Robinson's confirmation ''has brought much sadness and disappointment to us.'' The Anglican Church said it was astonished that the US Episcopalians were willing to ''turn their back on the clear teaching of the Bible on the matter of human sexuality.''

Archbishop of Perth Peter Carnley, the primate of Australia's Anglican Church, said Robinson's appointment would have a negative impact, but doubted it would tear the denomination apart. ''We have to have a debate about how to apply the biblical principles . . . to this modern and contemporary issue,'' said Carnley, who is considered a liberal voice in Australia's Anglican community.

Another article

A few things to ponder:
1. Notice how the western countries (Britain, Australia, and US) are pro-homosexual, and Asia and Africa are against it. The base of Christianity is moving (has moved?) to Africa, Asia, and South America. We just haven't noticed.

2. Homosexuality is an explosive issue. Jordon Cooper quoted a guy in one post who was not against the legalization of homosexual marriages. He made one mention of it. The hate mail he received was incredible. Some guy posted onto his wife's blog that her depression and her recent miscarriage were due to Cooper's liberal theology.

We have to remember that the church isn't here to win a debate over morality. We are here to show people God and to introduce them a life changing relationship with God. While I am in no doubt that the practice of homosexuality is a sin, my plan is to win people with the love of God, not with the venom of my despise.

3. How far is the issue from us of homosexual marriage? Canadian ministers have had to make some decisions about their role in marriages. I had never given any thought to the fact that in the US and Canada, ministers are agents of the government in sanctioning individual marriages. That was certainly not the case in the New Testament, at least I wouldn't think so. Actually I have no idea of the history of governmental recognized marriages. The church may have to move to allowing people to be legally married by the government and spiritually married in a separate service in the church. Interesting...

Schwarzenegger Announces Calif. Gov. Bid

Yahoo! News - Schwarzenegger Announces Calif. Gov. Bid

LOS ANGELES - Arnold Schwarzenegger ended the suspense Wednesday and jumped into the race for California governor, instantly becoming the best-known of the declared candidates seeking to replace Democrat Gray Davis in a recall. "

Write your joke here: ____________________________

It will be interesting to see how hard they fight against Schwarzenegger. He is a Republican, but his views are far from conservative (at least I'm told). I don't know a ton about his politics. But I think is more serious about politics than say Jesse Ventura. California is a mess. I hope he can help.

His current plan is to send robots into the past and kill those who are responsible.

Making Sense of Church

Spencer Burke of The Ooze has a book coming out in September and he wants that to be just the beginning of the conversation. Here is where the conversation continues. To me, this (the idea of continuing conversations like this) is the future and we need to be in it.

House Churches

Gil Rowe found this saying that house church planting is much more effective than the type of church planting we typically think of: John White

Comments

I changed the comments to use Haloscan. Friends were telling me they couldn't leave comments before. So leave me a comment so I can see that this is working!! Thanks!

A Heart Wrenching Story... Not

Yahoo! News - Microsoft Millionaires Grapple With Wealth: "Microsoft Millionaires Grapple With Wealth"

Some excerpts:

The year was 1987, the company was Microsoft Corp., and Thatcher, a 28-year-old marketing assistant, had no idea what a stock option was. It grants a right to buy stock at a fixed price over a limited time. If the market price soars during that time, a few thousand options can turn into tons of money.

...He lives now in downtown Seattle on the top floor of a building with splendid views of Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains. He takes daily banjo lessons, does office work for his church and leads children on tours of a local park. Whenever he and his wife, Shari, feel like it, they catch an afternoon movie. They meet quarterly with financial advisers and expect never to work again.

...Arguably, the largest single legion served its time -- and secured its fortune -- in the eastern suburbs of Seattle. That is where an estimated 10,000 Microsoft employees became millionaires during the era of options.

...Suddenly, there were waiting lists for yachts, Ferraris and Steinway pianos. Newly purchased horses far outnumbered stalls in local stables. Soaring new-car sales merged with 15 percent population growth to create traffic congestion that ranked among the worst in the nation. Seattle rose to No. 2, after Silicon Valley, in venture capital investment. Much of the money went to dot-com companies that went broke. The number of mental health counselors jumped by 55 percent, according to the state health department.

..Thatcher quit in 1997, as soon as his last options vested. (If he had stayed another two years, he said with a deep sigh, he would have tripled his fortune.)

With his wife, he took off and traveled around the world for a year. During that trip, which included a long stay in Burma, one of the poorest countries in the world, Thatcher was often blue.

"It was hard to reconcile the inequity of having tons of money and walking through squalor," he said.

...Here in Seattle, an organization created by the newly rich, called Social Venture Partners, has worked with hundreds of Microsoft people, teaching them how to give away money and sort out their values.

Each member commits to a minimum annual contribution of $5,500 for at least two years to join, and the organization strongly encourages members to work long hours with small local charities. Social Venture Partners is sometimes described as post-graduate training in philanthropy.

"Things and money can come to define you, even if you don't want it to happen," said Paul Shoemaker, executive director of the group and a former Microsoft employee who says he got semi-rich on options. "It takes a conscious choice to keep your feet on the ground."

A William Wallace Novel online

The Scottish Chiefs by Miss Jane Porter - An Historical Novel about William Wallace and Robert the Bruce

Buzz

I've been thinking about buzz. I was reading some about it in The Crossover, but buzz wouldn't hurt. Buzz is part of our bridge building project.

Here is how a Lousiana church created some buzz: CNN.com - Bishop: I'll pay white people to attend my church - Aug. 1, 2003: "Bishop Fred Caldwell of the Greenwood Acres Full Gospel Baptist Church in Shreveport, Louisiana, has a pretty radical idea to diversify the largely black congregation of his church.
This month, Caldwell is going to pay white people to attend his sermons. It's five bucks for a Sunday service, 10 for a Thursday service. And the idea is already stirring up controversy. "

Fish Fry

Had supper to night at the Toner's. They fried up some Sam's club fish. Mmmm! What a great family. Marsha is a great host. Their sons Matt (16) and Aaron (8) were wonderful with our children. And Tom, well he's the best. Matt drug out Tom's old scrapbook that reminded us of the basketball legends we were. Very cool.